Top 9 Films of 2012!

Jack's Top 9 Films Of 2012

So, as a massive movie geek, I've been to see quite a few Hollywood (and not-so-hHllywood)blockbusters this year, and obviously, as with anything in life, some managed to give me an erection, and others made me want to stab kittens.

Here's my top 8 films of 2012, with some extra mumbo-jumbo at the bottom.

NUMBER 9 - CHRONICLE

(FEATURING DANE DEHAAN)

Hmmm, as clichè as this sounds, not my cup of tea.

I expected so much from a film that looked so promising in the trailer, but once in the cinema, it took me five minutes to realise it was one of those films, that was the trailer. 

OK, DeHaan played a brilliant role in Andrew, and the cast

(who were relatively fresh on the scene) did their best to pull it off.  The CGI was crazy-good, but the plot had so many loop holes, and such a predictable ending that I felt like I'd been stood up.  Like going to a football match with my Dad, but instead, he left turns into Burger King.  If you enjoyed 2012,

or that movie with the really shaky camera-guy, you might like this.  I didn't.

NUMBER 8 - PROJECT X

(FEATURING THOMAS MANN)

Did I think this film would be hilarious?  Yes, of course, anything produced with a little helping hand from Todd Phillips was bound to be good?  It wasn't.  The jokes were weak, the cast were O.K, and the plot was so thin.  I felt like I was watching a random house party take place for an hour and a half, and as good as that sounds, when you're not actually there, it's boring.

Sure, I wanted the film to break boundaries, and become as far fetched as possible, and when it did, it got laughs, but a bunch of geeks becoming popular overnight by throwing a party isn't the most original storyline.  I wouldn't want to sit through this again.

NUMBER 7 - THE SITTER

(FEATURING JONAH HILL)

A simple case of expected nothing - got something.  Jonah Hill

brought his usual nerdy charm to the film, and the kids?

Well, they were just brilliant.  Max Records

(that charming little'un from Where The Wild Things Are)

played a teen scared of his own sexuality, and was nothing but

hilariously perfect.  Believable cast, and enjoyable film.

NUMBER 6 - 21 JUMP STREET

(FEATURING JONAH HILL & CHANNING TATUM)

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum working together?

Brilliant.

These two single-handedly made this film a winner.  Blowing Jonah Hill's previous comedy The Sitter out of the water for 2012.

From a guy that had recently watched Channing Tatum play a cheesy lover in The Vow with Rachel McAdams, I was confused to why he'd been given this role.  But it's clear why now, he can do comedy like the best of 'em.  Brilliant pairing, brilliant scripting, decent storyline.  Good comedy from a rainy Friday night in.

NUMBER 5 - AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

(FEATURING ROBERT DW. JUNIOR)

Wow.  Bloody wow.  Amazing.  In fact, I'm actually stupid placing this forth in the list, it should definitely be higher, but I just have a good feeling about number 4.  Anyway, the cast, brilliant, OBVIOUSLY!  Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and Captain America, obviously they'll be brilliant.  Surprisingly, for me, Ruffalo was the stand-out star as Hulk, and I'm glad he's been signed to play him in further films.  The comedy element was very strong, as expected, and more so, the film just did well.  I don't even know what more to say except, it was like the perfect mix of characters, and mise-en-scene, to create a near-perfect super-hero film.

NUMBER 4 - TED?

(FEATURING MARK WAHLBERG & MILA KUNIS)

OK, controversial.  I've not yet seen this film, and placing it about the Avengers is risky, I know.  But here's the method to my madness.  The trailer is incredibly funny, actually laugh-out-loud funny, and it's written & directed by the king of comedy himself Seth McFarlane (creator of Family Guy).

Is this film going to flop, and not meet expectations?  NO.

I'm willing to bet my life on it.  And to those who are saying that all the jokes will be in the trailer, I disagree.  Imagine if we took all the season's of Family Guy and had to create a trailer?  There would be TONS of incredibly funny shit left out, and I'm far too excited to shed happy tears at this delight come August.

NUMBER 3 - THE HUNGER GAMES

(FEATURING JENNIFER LAWRENCE)

Imagine if Twilight appealed to all audiences?  Mhmm.  Of course, this film was centred around a romantic love-story between the two from District 13.  But did it put the male audience of?  Nope.  I for one, thought the storyline was incredible, so original, and just grasping.  I wanted to watch more even after the film ended.  Everything was so great, from Jennifer & Josh's lead role performances, to the brilliant plot-line, to the CGI, to even Woody's cameo.  You have to see this film, and in-fact, will probably have no choice, it's going to become massive.  Move over Harry Potter/ Twilight, Hunger Games are here.

NUMBER 2 - THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

(FEATURING CHRISTIAN BALE AND TOM HARDY)

WHAT?  Dark Knight Rises in NUMBER TWO?  Yeah.

Hopefully, I get proven wrong, but I don't think this will 

beat my love for The Amazing Spider-Man.  However, it has all the ingredients and more to do so.  Michael Caine, Tom Hardy, Joseph Gordon-Levett, Anne Hatthaway, the list continues.  If that is not a cast for a number one hit, then I don't know what is?  Oh, I didn't mention Christian Bale, because I can't stand him.

We all know The Dark Knight was a film to beat all other films, but will this top it?  Or even match it?  I'm unsure.  I don't want to be bitterly disappointed, so I'm not firing my expectations at the roof just yet.  Two things I can't wait to see though.  One thing, Tom Hardy's performance as Bain, hopefully it'll be frighteningly brilliant as it's looking to be.  And number two thing, Nolan's risk-taking.  Obviously he could play this film incredibly safe and leave it open, or he could change the whole diversity of the Batman and flip it on it's head - and I for one, is hoping to see this risk.

C'mon Nolan, don't disappoint now.

NUMBER 1 - THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

(FEATURING ANDREW GARFIELD AND EMMA STONE)

You guys know how much I loved it.  I couldn't go to the cinema just once to see, I had to go a few times.  I am totally in love with how brilliant Andrew Garfield portrayed this new-age Peter Parker, and I can't help but actually fall in love with the incredibly cute Emma Stone.  Rhys iFans too, was so good, I don't even feel this blog can do it justice.  The script was pretty OK, but the special affects and everything else were so pitch perfect, I almost wanted to hide in the cinema and watch the very next showing.  I loved it, others didn't.  Sure, it was cheesy in bits (the crane bit in particular made me cringe slightly) and their were numerous goofs.  But I'm a spider-man geek, and always will be, if they keep making films this enjoyable.

Bonus.

Safe House.

(ft. Denzel Washington)

Hated it.  Too predictable.  The pace was all over the place, and apart from Denzel's safe performance, the whole thing lacked originality.  Failed to captivate me, and for the last ten minutes I found Twitter on my phone more interesting.  Oh, and the so-called "twist" at the end?  Anybody with half a brain-cell see's that coming a mile off.  I don't ever want to watch this again.  Who knows though, you might like it.  

(You probably won't though)